Tuesday, August 7

we. are. your friends.

so this conversation happened...

Friend, M.D.: how can i figure out how much my cat weighs?
me: um, really?
Friend, M.D.: no no i need to know because i want to switch her over to wet food and i need to know the amount she should be eating
me: but like, you're asking me how to find out how much something weighs?
Friend, M.D.: but i dont have a scale, so i think im screwed
me: get a scale
Friend, M.D.: without a scale!
me: you want to know how to find out how much something weighs, but you don't want the answer to be "use a scale"?
Friend, M.D.: no, I'm saying I don't have a scale
me: is this a riddle?
this is a riddle, right?
Friend, M.D.: does your roommate's cat eat canned food?
me: I'm done with this.
Friend, M.D.: i think its funny that people complain that their cats are finicky
my cat eats anything and everything
me: seriously, stop it.

but then, since I'm such a good friend, I asked another good friend
what he thought she should do...


me: [that conversation]
Max: Tell her to fill a bucket with water and mark a line in the bucket where the surface is. Then get someone to hold the cat completely underwater for about a minute while you make a new line. Calculate the weight by taking the distance between the lines and then throwing the cat in the trash because now it's dead.

Look how much money I saved her.



4 comments:

Travis said...

You could also drop the cat from a known height and time its descent and the force with which it hits the ground, then divide to get the mass.

sachar said...

wait, I thought your name was Trevor...

leebrand said...

Pets require
Everyone involved to
Take serious
Responsibility
And to remember that the

Issues that
Surround their

Deaths, be they
Untimely or otherwise, are
More serious than
Blogs can address

Quayar said...

that cat weighs 22 lbs 4 oz.