mad men

congratulations, you're married to niles leonard.

pray for mojo

who took the jam out of the narrator's doughnut? seriously, he is so annoyed. anyway, this cements my belief that any time something is about a monkey, it's racist.

RELATED: people who look like moneys

right?

it takes a village, idiot

this morning I got an email from a guy who was like "I drew on a lunchbox or something, for hunger" so I checked it out and, since I am smart, designed my own lunchbox for the cure that is filled with money and pukes money whenever it opens its lunchmouth. also, my lunchbox is times a million. don't mention it.



just kidding, this is the real one I made:



just kidding, I don't care about stuff or helping stuff out.

but if unlike me, you are looking for a way to do a charity this holiday season, try this:
step 1: kidnap a lot of kids
step 2: pre-lie about where they came from
step 3: when you get caught for kidnapping a ton of kids and having pre-lied about where they came from, and people start asking the tough questions like how come these kids were bandaged and covered in fake blood, even though they weren't injured? get your lawyer to say that you did it to amuse them because they were scared of the journey.