colonel panic

get it?

we're married.

that is a picture of my husband, taken right after he broke my other computer a few days ago by shooting the inside of it with guns.

here's a better note to end on

last night, Roommate Incorporated referred to the part of the faucet that you turn when you turn on a faucet as the turner, which was incredible and reminded me of the time I called my wrist a hand-arm.

but seriously, what do you call that?

handle?

knob?

anyway, look how I took your mind off that joke I made before.

def mute

I don't know what this is.
they're fighting?
or dancing?

Emergency buttholes.

(In case of emergencies.)