dumb girl

when I was little (awesome childhood alert), I wished really hard upon a star for this thing I called an anything box, which looked like this:



and worked like this:
1. think of something you want
2. push blue button
3. thing appears
4. IMMEDIATELY HIDE ANYTHING BOX FROM PARENTS
5. play with/eat new thing
6. get bored, go back to watching Disney Afternoon

anyway, I completely forgot about this idea until last night when Le Quay and I went to see Into Le Wild and I was like "man, this guy could really use an anything box," and then I was like "ANYTHING BOX!!!" and it all came flooding back.

so yeah, the point I'm trying to make here is that I was going to call this post Into The Child, and then I realized how horrible that is.

have a good weekend, everyone.


UPDATE: INTO THE CHILD LIVES!!1!!1!


in case you can't read that, it says:


DO NOT WANT!
still, have a good weekend.

[daily mail, via j-dog]

is this thing on?

this blog has lost sight of the issues. here are some things we could use:

1. a chicken on stilts



2. balloons with hands that hold kids' hands so that kids wont let go of them so much



3. a TV show called Foster Dogs, about a married (dog) couple who can't conceive, so they adopt a set of twins (dogs) only to find out that the (foster) dogs sneak out at night to kill other dogs.



4. a theme song for the TV show Foster Dogs that goes:

Foster Dogs.... they FIGHT!
Foster Dogs.... at NIGHT!

NIGHT FIGHT NIGHT FRIGHT
FRIGHT NIGHT NIGHT NIGHT

Foster Dogs.... they MIGHT!
(Kill you.)
(If you're a dog.)

5. Blood Piñata / new ways to teach kids a lesson

Today, for the first time ever, there was a message waiting for me in the Mailbag They Should Invent:

"... a battery powered television that is powered by a child riding a stationary bicycle. Then you could let little Johnny watch as much TV as he wanted as long as he was peddling. We wouldn’t have such fat children." -C. McMullen



Given what I know about bikes and electricity, I'm pretty sure this is exactly right and will definitely work.

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Jealous? Send plz.