Thursday, June 28

meat pipe bomb

(I don't know anything about meat or bombs.)

Monday, June 25

crystal jeans

at last.

Friday, June 22

Don't let the forces of nature ruin your day in the park-- get back at God with a Stadiumbrella!

Wednesday, June 20

pizzaphone. orders itself.

Monday, June 18

air to air salesmen

Tuesday, June 12


So now that the lid's been blown off of gay bombs, it's about time that military science get to work developing some more secret technologies. My top suggestions:

  • a laser beam that makes you retarded
  • an awesome gun that shoots leprosy bullets
  • eyeliner soy bombs that turn you into a vegan


  • nuclear weapons that turn your dick into a vagina


Thursday, June 7

Facts about Inner Outer Space:
-it exists within every one of us, somewhere between the inner child and the inner demons
-it is how we got to the moon, unleashed the MARS rover
-it is why we say reach for the stars even though wtf, right?
-it is why we all I saw the movie Alien VS Predator
-it is the one thing that will ultimately fix mankind when the aliens arrive, cold and emotionless as the space-metal on their flying cars, wearing t-shirts that say My only inner Earth is the one I killed and ate... ZORG!, shouting with an incurable bloodlust: Hey Earthlings- R U READY 2 GET FUCT?!??!, pounding beer after beer, and killing us all as we try to explain that our love and understanding is as vast and endless as the tiny universe inside us all.

Wednesday, June 6

happy birthday

Tuesday, June 5

Monday, June 4

this dictionary tells you exactly how you got rocked when I dissed you.