meat pipe bomb

(I don't know anything about meat or bombs.)

crystal jeans

at last.

Don't let the forces of nature ruin your day in the park-- get back at God with a Stadiumbrella!

pizzaphone. orders itself.

air to air salesmen

~~SPECIAL GOVERNMENT ISSUE~~
WEAPONRY THEY SHOULD INVENT

So now that the lid's been blown off of gay bombs, it's about time that military science get to work developing some more secret technologies. My top suggestions:

• a laser beam that makes you retarded
  
• an awesome gun that shoots leprosy bullets
  
• eyeliner soy bombs that turn you into a vegan
  
  and...
  
  
• nuclear weapons that turn your dick into a vagina

TAX DOLLARS!

Facts about Inner Outer Space:
-it exists within every one of us, somewhere between the inner child and the inner demons
-it is how we got to the moon, unleashed the MARS rover
-it is why we say reach for the stars even though wtf, right?
-it is why we all I saw the movie Alien VS Predator
-it is the one thing that will ultimately fix mankind when the aliens arrive, cold and emotionless as the space-metal on their flying cars, wearing t-shirts that say My only inner Earth is the one I killed and ate... ZORG!, shouting with an incurable bloodlust: Hey Earthlings- R U READY 2 GET FUCT?!??!, pounding beer after beer, and killing us all as we try to explain that our love and understanding is as vast and endless as the tiny universe inside us all.

happy birthday

this dictionary tells you exactly how you got rocked when I dissed you.
...
...
BRAFF!