Wednesday, January 16

second draft

Wait, did someone say editing?

Any editor will tell you that Microsoft Word's Find & Replace function is the one powertool they can't live without. Just look how it turned this story I read about donuts into the funniest thing you've ever seen:

I was talking to a friend the other day when he asked me if I had ever been to a little place called The Dick Pub. When I said that I had never even heard of it he looked at me incredulously, tilted his head back and threw his hands in the air "Come on! I can't believe you've never been to the Dick Pub." The little dick lover in me was also perplexed and upset by the fact that there was a supposedly great Dick place in New York City that had escaped me all these years. I made it my personal mission to buy some dicks as soon as possible.

This past Saturday I found myself standing on the corner of 14th and 7th searching eagerly for this 'Dick Pub.' Finally I found the unassuming little place and hurried inside. The interior is sort of a coffee shop/dick store hybrid with a whole wall of dicks and some counter seating if you feel like you can't wait to eat.

My plan was to buy six different kinds of dicks and bring them to a friend's house so that we might have our own little dick tasting. For this event I purchased a glazed dick, a sugar dick, an original plain, a French cruller, a jelly filled dick and a chocolate frosted.

A couple of hours later disaster struck. I felt a slight twinge of hunger and decided it would be ok to tear into my bag of dicks. I started with the sugar dick. It was incredibly light and sweet but not overly so. I finished it, licked my lips and decided it would be ok to try another. I then ate the glazed dick which was also incredibly light and delicious. Both dicks blow Dunkin's completely out of the water. They actually have the best qualities of Dunkin and Krispy Kreme without any of the faults. The dicks are incredibly light (like Krispy Kreme) without being overly sweet or rich and they have actual dick structure (like Dunkin, with Krispy Kreme being more like fried sugar) without being filling or too starchy.

After my tongue had been awakened to the joys of Dick Hub dicks, there was no going back. I ate half of the chocolate frosted, jelly, cruller, and original dicks for 'research' purposes and my little dick tasting idea completely fell apart. I love dicks.

1 comment:

maggie said...

hey i know where this place is. it's true, they have a lot of d-nuts.