Tuesday, October 2

into the future

so we were at a little league game on Sunday, and ethan's like "something something something pizone" and I'm like "yeah, the Pizza Hut thing" and he's like, "no, something much more amazing than that" and proceeds to explain that somewhere out there in the world, there is an ice-cream cone made out of pie-crust and that it's filled with a slice of pizza.


anyway, I did some research.

they're called CrispyCones, and they are amazing disgusting amazing disgusting my sister my daughter my sister my daughter disgusting AND amazing!

but mostly, disgusting.

this one has RICE in it!

this one isn't even pizza!

what the BARF!


from www.crispycones.barf/ew:
Isn’t it time to reinvent the way we eat our favorite foods?
no. and pizza is perfect, which is why you always hear people say "that picture is pizza perfect" and things like that.

After all, we do everything differently than we did just a few years ago.
hm, okay.

The music industry has MP3’s.

Cell phones got built-in cameras. Laptops went the wireless internet way.
dear this website: I am interested in learning more about pizza, please, and less about laptop MP3 cellphones and also, what the fuck are you talking about?

Made with nutritious ingredients and delivered in a smart drip-free cone
nutritious ingredients include: ham, pizza, eggs, "Asian beef," apple pie. smart. plus, drip-free??? gross.

Not only is the shape of the cone different than anything else out there,
not true.

it’s also different in concept.
this is retarding my brain.

With its easy-to-handle shape, the Crispy Cone is the food you’ll love to eat on the move. Whether in the car, the mall, or walking down the street, the Crispy Cone lets you enjoy its delicious, hassle-free flavors while shuffling through your MP3, driving your car, working at your desk or talking on your cell phone.
shuffling through your MP3 can get pretty complicated but also, if you are eating this, you probably can't do that, or walk or drive a car and you definitely don't have a desk to work a job at because you are too stupid to eat like a grown-up human, probably because you took your brain out and put it in a cone because you thought it would be easier to think that way.


[thanks, ethan.]


tps12 said...

Excellent. It's like a bagel dog that spills molten cheese in your lap when you take a turn too fast. Awesome post.

Anonymous said...

can you invent a cone that would catch all my vomit right now? Vomicone.

Max Silvestri said...

the pics are gone? please fix. can't cum without the pictures. can't sleep without cumming. need to rest for the shoot tomorrow. ergo, please fix the pictures (please fixtures)

sachar said...

check your PMs.